Thursday, December 11, 2008

haute couture

Hello everybody!

Did you miss me? Not only was I celebrating my birthday,

I was also busy being at the forefront of New Yorks haute couture fashion scene!!


firstly, my birthday speech. I appreciate and love all the important people in my life,

especially those who helped mould and shape me, you have made me what I am today.

Of course I am talking about not only my parents, but my plastic surgeons, for they have

moulded and shaped me the most.

teehee!!


I am also very angry at some jealous mad forummers who said that my bay-bay dress was ugly.
*rolls eyes* * tilts head* and *flips hair*.

How dare you mock my immaculate taste in fashion?
Excuse me? Its an original BAY-BAY dress, and i did not get it from ebay at $40! Its a lie! You all are just jealous! Spreading wicked rumours about a godly woman? Shame on you all!!

poor Elphaba... I feel you :/

As i was saying..... sigh, it is such hard work being at the forefront of new yorks fashion trends!!

And after all my surgeries, i managed to appear on the front cover of Rogue magazine!

teehee! the Godly will always prevail!!



clap -banging and kissing my way to the top fashion magazines,

xoxo, dawn wayang.

teehee!!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

the hottest blogger has a new banner!

Teehee everybody!!

As my beloved fans can see,
I have once again replaced my banner!!

I have also taken down my old site www.dawnyang.sg

Because you have discovered the lies and self praise inside!


This time I have decided to make my own banner for my clapbangkiss site,
one more hideous and air-headed than ever before!




Of course, what you peasants think of my banner is very important,
which is why I lurk around in gossip galore reading every single thing you say about it!!
Teehee!!





I will also try to use the most non - sequitur words so that it cannot be vandalized by my jealous detractors!!

Although I felt that play.see.dress.eat does not describe my likes and hobbies at all!

therefore, as her alter ego, I felt that I should come up with a more accurate banner which describes me best!!

Teehee!



The world in my panties. Suck .Lick . Spread. Sleaze*

Sunday, November 16, 2008

teehee everybody!!

did you miss me??

As you all know, my alter ego's blog can no longer be accessed by clicking on

www.dawnyang.com


this is because I am secretly setting up a better, nicer site in preparation of my
smashing comeback into the entertainment scene the moment I get back from new york!!

here its is!!

www.dawnyang.sg

I am dawn yang - sweet, cool, sassy, sexy...



teehee!!

whats inside my ultra secret blog?
More self praise and lies of course!!
teehee!!



BEGINNING OF A NEW DAY…..
Dawn Yang burst onto the internet scene in 2005, when she was crowned Singapore’s Hottest Blogger” by netizens, followed up with a frontpage feature story in the New Paper. Subsequently her blog (where she went by the catchy alias Clapbangkiss) gained widespread popularity not only locally but in the region as well. Dawn’s unique & stylish blogging style, whimsical yet down-to-earth musings about daily life, her worldwide travels, exciting events, touching introspections on love, and captivating collections of photos, has since earned her a huge following of fans.

Today, Dawn is one of the most well-known “celebrity” bloggers in Singapore. Her blog amasses a readership of up to 20 000 daily, with readers hailing from all corners of the globe, including the United States, Australia and Hong Kong. As such, Dawn receives a constant stream of advertisers and endorsements. Besides having been a “Mandarin Cool” campaign spokesperson, Dawn writes weekly as the longest running Star Blogger for The Straits Times web portal STOMP, with several of her articles being printed in the newspapers. She has also been featured in countless other papers, as well as publications like 8Days, Her World, Cleo and FHM to name a few.

In an extraordinary first-ever feat for an online personality, Dawn was voted “Babe of the Year” by New Paper readers in their annual Flame Awards, edging out other well-known models and actresses. She constantly makes it to the top rankings of FHM and Maxim’s annual list of hottest women in the world. Dawn very nearly became a radio DJ with hit station 98.7fm, but withdrew from the job due to certain timing conflicts. She had a short stint in Taiwan, where she appeared in numerous variety tv programmes, game shows and honed her acting/presenting skills. Dawn was originally set to finish her double business and communications degree at the University of Southern California, then deferred her studies to further her interests in the media line. She has since transferred to New York University and looks forward to completing her final year there sometime soon. In the meanwhile besides primarily blogging, Dawn Yang also does modelling, hosting, acting, and is exploring other online projects.


Other things that you might be interested to know…
Religion Christian. Attends New Creation Church.

Schools Singapore Chinese Girls’ School, Raffles Junior College, Singapore Management University, Marymount College (scholarship), New York University

Family Members Father , Mother , younger sister

Interests Music. Travelling the world. Adventures. Reading. Films. Food & dining. Poetry. Charities. Racing & go-karting. Photography. Design. Fashion. Carefree dancing. Card games, boardgames, mahjong. Theme parks. Theme parties. Mysteries, conspiracies & the paranormal. Nostalgia. Gorgeous beaches. Twinkling big city lights. Warm golden sunsets. Dewy morning air. Cooking. Sweet & simple love.

Favorite Colour White

Favorite Season Fall

Favorite Food All Asian types, anything with spicy sambal, burgers, pasta, pizza. Absolutely loves desserts, cakes & pastries.

Favorite Music Jazz, bossanova, pop, rock, electro, R&B, soul.

Favorite Sports netball, swimming, tennis, ice-skating, F1

Favorite Movies fight club | eternal sunshine of the spotless mind | romeo & juliet| Amelie | my best friend’s wedding | pulp fiction | the godfather | scarface | kill bill | forest gump| taxi | great expectations | virgin suicides | snatch | memento | zoolander | vanilla sky | love me if you dare | infernal affairs | run lola run| tempting heart | my sassy girl | life is beautiful | scent of a woman | blow | meet joe black | lost in translation | goodbye lenin | serendepity | closer | in the mood for love | pi | oldboy | sympathy for lady vengenance | il mare | city of god | thank you for smoking | Across the Universe| 300 | Priceless|


---------------------------------------------------------------


As her alter ego I too, have decided to revamp my new look and face the world with my lies!!
teehee!!







Will my new banner help me attract more dirty old rich men?

teehee!!











Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Fan submitted game- Kick the Dong!





Teehee! Give me a chance to zhao geng by playing this game! kick me hard enough and i shall show you my panties!!





Make a game | Share | Free games |


Whack-A dong , by luffiecloud

Monday, October 27, 2008

more multiple accounts and i am secretly racist! teehee!

UPDATE

**ADVERTORIAL**

WHITE IS RIGHT WHITENING CREAM

Being as white as Michael Jackson has been my lifelong quest.
It is very important to me because not only does it make you look virginal and pure,but being fairer than everybody means that
you are higher class than them!

teehee!











Racist? me? I don't think so! Teehee! How can an innocent Christian girl like me be secretly racist?













------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Snippets from Starblog-






This happened to still be in my bag. Apparently I'm a dirty girl who does not clean out her bags properly lol ;)

I do not clean out between my legs either!!


teehee! But that is not all that's in my bag!!





.
.
.
.
.
.



------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




What nickname would be suitable for a classy girl like me?
hmmm.... *tilts head* Teehee!!
I know!!
FENDI!!

And the first thing I shall write about is how xiaxue is trying to look like me!
hmph! How dare she!





But Oh no!! How could I be so stupid!
my IP address shows that im in NYC!!


207.237.205.138 [207-237-205-138.c3-0.nyw-ubr3.nyr-nyw.ny.cable.rcn.com]

they found out ive been sneaking around in DWY's Cbox and forums too !!



What should I do now? Im running out of ideas for nicknames!
*pouts*
how?
I shall pretend to speak like an ah lian! Because they would never expect such a classy princess like me to have such a lousy command of english!! Teehee!!





Looks like the people at GG are not as bimbotic as I thought!
boohoo!!
Now I can't post as Fendi in gossipgalore anymore!!

But wait! I have MORE accounts.. this time... in...

THE PURSE FORUM!!!
It is only for high class good christian girls like me!
teehee!!

Now all i need is a name befitting of my status....

young_princess

teehee!

I need more nosejobs!!
In fact, I went to NYC not to study, but to get a better nose!
People have been telling me that my nose has gone out of shape and slanted to one side!
And i MUST fix it!
Sigh... being perfect is such hard work...








Teehee!!




Before interning at NYU, I have to double check if there are any good plastic surgrons nearby in case of emergencies!! teehee!







Because One nose job is not nearly enough!!



And of course... No princess is complete without going to etiquette school!! Where they will teach me to sit with my legs closed! teehee!








Of course, because the people at The Purse Forum believe that I am a sweet, kind hearted princess, I absolutely MUST create ANOTHER account just for bashing!
teehee!!

what? only one post?




There's more of course!!

teehee!!



No one will check and see that that blogger account is empty!

Sound familiar?
These are the same things I said using deliriouschic and xoxodoll!!

you can see them HERE

Teehee!

Everyone who is prettier than me must be FAKE and PLASTIC too!!
Xiaxue looks good in pictures because she photoshops it to look like ME ME ME!!
Who cares if im a phoney, and that these girls can't copy me because i am a fake myself ?

I am the best, and most beautiful of them all!!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Help me Wayang!!

Teehee everybody!!
I am totally wasted and therefore, have a brain block!
I have decided to amend my whorish ways ( for awhile,) because here in New York, the rich old men seem to steer clear from me! maybe I need to up my sex appeal and go out without a bra more often! Teehee!!

Some of my readers have come to me for relationship advice, so Dawn wayang now has a "Help me Wayang!" column, Where all you peasants can send in your woes!! Teehee!!


*******************************************************


Dear Wayang,
I have started to date someone. She is however a bumpkin. Let me explain

Windy Chen Ying Ying is the typical HDB heartlander who grew up in a usual kampong household with good diligent, honest parents and a brother who unfortunately were dealt a bad hand by fate. Windy however was blessed - she was born with a good brain. Having scoring a high score for her PSLE, she became a Mensa member and now is a writer with more than 20 000 readers everyday. Windy is witty, holds a good conversation and is very fascinating. I enjoy her company extremely one-on-one.

However, Windy cannot escape her roots. You can take the heartlander out of an HDB but you can't take the HDB out of a heartlander. There will always be a rough edge to her. Although I enjoy her company greatly one-on-one, Windy could not associate well with my friends. She is uncomfortable at our socialite parties, and finds it hard to be herself at our gatherings. Windy speaks with a Singaporean accent with Singlish. She curses and swears every ten minutes or so, It is also apparent that she will never truly get along with my parents.

My parents prefer me to date Dolly Yong, a blue-blood like me. Coming from a wealthy family, Dolly is chic, pretty, has a good sense of fashion (although they are all white, a colour that I despise) and moves in the right circles. She is however quite dense and delirious at times, although her social charm conceals this up adequate enough. Like many affluent kids, she attended NYU and does not need to work. She revels all the time, fly around with friends like her; Jonathan fits my social circle like a wig on my bald head - however whenever I am with her, it all feels rather artificial. I don't find her interesting, being exactly like the girls that always threw themselves at me. What was worse that I suspect she had some surgery done to her face and that there are a lot of nasty rumours circling round the duke board, such as having multiple abortions. I also did not like the fact that she was so chummy with other men.

My aunt Marissa advised me to choose Dolly. She said that it does not matter about the rumours or the surgery. She's pretty and rich, and thus, could fit it in my social circles and that was what truly matters. Aunt Marissa strongly disliked Windy and called her a Chao Ah Huay and a dwarf. Aunt Marissa threatens to ignore me and my parents wants to sever all ties with me if I were to date Dolly.

I am in such a dilemma. Windy or Dolly? Should I be with a loud-spoken girl who always never fails to make my day yet a kampong girl? Or should I be with the princess who fits well with my friends but an irritating lasso? Should I choose my happiness or my family?
Dawn Wayang Blodgers, please help me choose!
-Joey
p.s. this is not plagarism.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Teehee everybody!!

Did you miss me??

As all of you know, I am currently in paris with kennysia!

I have never gone so long without a trip to the doctor, so please excuse the protrusion
on the left side of my cheek!

let me show you some pictures of me in paris!!




Gorgeous.





Today's Post will be about my accomplishments as a celebrity!!

Teehee!!


As most of you know, I have come a long way since 2003 ,
rising to the top to become singapore's most beautiful, sexy and desirable,
blogger!!

And my most famous accomplishment is the most number
of zhao gengs in the history of singapore's records!!

I am very sure that my fans and family are very proud of my achievements!

And because I am such a kind, child-like angelic sex symbol,
I shall share with all you ugly girls how to become like me!!

Of course, First you must convince your parents to pay for all
your surgeries so you can look like me!

Sigh... I am truly God's gift to men...

Count with me!!

1.



2.



3.




4.




and finally!!
5.!!







Thats all my beloved fans!!
Im totally wasted from all the partying, I need to catch some beauty sleep!

Until next time!!

Teehee!!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

A shocking revelation!!

***Update!!***

*Comment of the day*

Boohoo!!!
Have I no more real friends left!!
Hmph! How can you expose such things about me!!
I shall find out who you are, and spread that you have a fake nose like me!
teehee!
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is not difficult to identify those fierce defensive comments made by dawn as well. In her drunken stupor (dawn is a good drinker and this is one of the rare occasions that she got drunk), dawn admitted to me that she can't go home to rest because she have to delete all those mean comments about her and setting up various accounts to write defensive comments to help herself. When it was proven to be fruitless with all those efforts made to defend herself, meaning she got exposed from those multiple accounts, she seek the help from her boss. That person who helped her is someone who writes well but is extremely sarcastic and light-eared. But that person got exposed for helping dawn and hence he is washing his hands off this matter. It is also not a difficult task to touch her all over in clubs when she just had champagne and wine and will cajole men into buying drinks for her. She also feels that drinking champagne and wine makes her look like a high class rich girl. All her photos reflected her close proximity with different men because she doesn’t mind being touched by them as long as she had some wine and they looked decent and rich enough. She will always forged ignorance when strangers gave her a disgusted glance but in reality, she can't take it lying down and will lost her head completely and start b|tching about those people who gave her that kind of glance, calling them fugly and jealous jerks and bitches. I am very close to her but i find her b|tchy, attention-seeking and promiscuous. Many times, she will ditch us and went off with another man in a flashy car because it was a once in a lifetime opportunity that she could fish up a rich man who don’t mind her distorted face. She have showed evidence that she is single because she admits that she wanted to marry into a wealthy family and has not stopped looking for one who could satisfy her demands. She once stated in her blog that she has other better things to do rather than being a mad forumer but actually, she has been spending lots of time goggling information about herself and creating bogus names to defend herself. When she said that she doesn’t care what people wrote about her, it was actually a reversed statement. She is very bothered and sore with the exposure of her multiple forum nicks and the mean things which people wrote about her online. Dawn also like to post up unflattering pictures of her friends, with herself nicely photoshopped. She will reapply her foundation repeatedly whenever she needs to take a picture with anybody, which is why it shows that she has an overpowdered face, arms and back. The reason why i decided to step in and divulge this as her friend because she has been going around hinting to people that xiaxue is the jealous chao ah lian with a fake nose who set up those parody sites about her. I felt this is an unjustified act done to xiaxue and i hope that xiaxue will clarify on her blog that all these are not done by her because dawn was the one who circulated these rumours about xiaxue. I just find it very contradicting of dawn to say such things about xiaxue when she herself is always using the insinuation approach to convince people that she was nice and innocent one and xiaxue is the evil one. One last thing, she has also mentioned her preference for wearing white clothings because it leaves very little to imagination for those men to want to sleep with her. The exposure of her white undergarments is also a deliberate act because she wants to get those men all hot and bothered about her. For your information, this is not any insider news or anything that was created to harm dawn’s reputation because anyone who is close to dawn or her friends will know all these about her. You will also see why dawn doesn’t have many real friends because all have chosen to be honest and open about her loathsomeness.

October 6, 2008 6:33 AM

Delete


New in The Wayang Times!


Dong's dirty linen revealed!









Oh noo!!

Who are these horrible horrible people??

Spreading such untrue rumours about me?

Must be that evil shortie Xiaxue! Only she hates me because she is JEALOUS!

Im such an angel *sigh*

I even have a fan club in facebook!
Its called

*In love with Dawn*

Thats me! Teehee!!

The description goes like this:

♥Can't stop.... Fall in love with .. Our Angel!!♥ She is Dawn! She is so beautiful So approachable None so adourable A Dream Girl comes from Heaven!!

Never mind that my fans can't spell and have the IQ of negative quotient!
They love ME ME ME!!

Teehee!

They even wrote a poem DELICATED to me!

Delicate to our BELOVE DAWN:
You are such a mad sexy cool girl

How does someone turn into you girl

How do you explain
What you do

What you say

How you be

How you play
How you love

Everyday
How your constantly the same

How you give Never hate
And you dont ever change

Be consistantly that way

Your a mad sexy cool girl,
and I love you the same

We Love you Dawn,
Be strong and always support!!

Seee!!! There are silly little girls who want to be like me!!
And im going to show them how to!!

How does someone turn into you girl ( with plastic surgery of course)
How do you explain What you do ( zhao geng in all your pics!)
What you say
( teehee!)

How you be
How you play ( party all day!)
How you love ( Its easy if he has money)
Everyday
How your constantly
the same
How you give ( Spread ! Teehee!)
Never hate ( By secretly backstabbing with many nicks)
And you dont ever change
( Destroy and photoshop all old photos)

Be consistantly that way
( frequent trips to Woffles Wu)

Your a mad sexy cool girl,
and I love you the same


There you have it, little preteen fans!
Me Love you long time!
But you must not be prettier than me, or else i will flame you in cozycot!
Love ya'll!


On to Fan Art!!
Teehee!










Monday, September 29, 2008

A Boto Xing Special update!



Hi hi everybody! Did you miss me?

That's right, your favourite guest contributor, yours truly, the ever resourceful BOTO XING is back again!!

Sorry, it has been a busy week here at The Plastic Times, and that's why Boto haven't been writing. Now let me compensate by writing a super long article for you!

What a lovely revelation by Miss Dawn Wayang about Miss Yang's amazing photoshop skills.

Teehee! Miss Yang has always pretended (more to herself than to everyone else) that her boobs are real and that her beauty is unrivaled, but we now know it is nothing more than good photoshop!

Boto suggests that Miss Yang and Xiaxue should have a photoshop showdown to see who is better!

Anyway, who wants a fresh vat of the juiciest gossip?

So, as we all know, recently Miss Yang had her ever resourceful Melissalam pull some strings and got her on the cover of 8 Days.

Having done nothing to deserve being on said magazine except maybe, erm... sleeping around (don't shoot me, that's what the mag said!), Miss Yang is of course very proud of her achievement!

From Boto's inside sources with my 8 days reporter friend, it is said that Miss Yang was really awkward at the shoot (facing Fiona, whom she of course flamed on Cozycot) and was pushed to the edge of the bed - for of course nobody will buy the magazine with her on cover, scars and all.

Teehee! That's why Boto always says, don't fall victim to plastic addiction!

And then a few weeks later... Voila! Magazine comes out on the stands!

Everyone told Miss Yang that she looks really horrible on the cover, with her big joker mouth, super artificial nose, and small boobs (compared to Fiona's melons).

Here's her cover, in case you haven't seen it!

Poor Miss Yang! Her first non-men's-magazine shoot and she looks so terrible!

But, of course she cannot let go of the chance to show off on her blog! Hello, are you stupid or what?? 8 DAYS COVER LEH!

Such a dilemma, what to do?

PHOTOSHOP, OF COURSE!!!

This is the picture that's on her blog:


She looks lovely, doesn't she, with her rosebud lips and doe eyes??

Not! Hahaha!

Spot the difference yet?

Here, let Boto aid you in your noble quest!



Under the magic liquify brush, poor long-suffering Miss Yang gave herself more surgeries... IRONICALLY AT THE PLACES SHE ALREADY DID PLASTIC AT!!

Tsk tsk... What does Boto always say? Don't fall victim to plastic addiction!

So, what's changed?

- Her forehead is more kok now... Implant doesn't seem to do the job well enough.

- More cleavage please!

- Eyes shorter and rounder

- Nose pushed to look narrower and less stretched

- Hair at side of face pushed away to make face appear less long.

- For some reason her upper arm also irritated her enough to put some hair on it.

What do you say? You don't believe Boto? Boto never lies, ok!

Here's a slow-mo difference for dum dums.



I told you! Boto also put Fiona's "before and after" to show you that the difference is not because of a warped photo, ok!

Also also, Boto read her Miss Yang's interview on 8 Days. 8 Days asked Miss Yang what is on her bedside table leh...

In the same way that Miss Yang replied that she only plagiarized 2-3 entries, Miss Yang stated that...



Kua kua... No condoms and toys, sure or not!!

But Miss Yang don't need toys lah, it is true... Miss Yang has plenty of the real thing, teehee!!

Anyway, being the good investigative journalist Boto is, Boto too sucked someone's cock and flew business class all the way to NYC to go into Miss Yang's bedroom to see what's really in her bedside table!!

And of course Boto shares! Boto is kind and generous.

1) Scar gel

Please hor, Boto found about 20 tubes of this in Miss Yang's drawer. Some are squeezed dry. Boto reckons it is because Miss Yang needs to rub this on the base of her nose, on the top of her head, on her eyelids, etc. Lucky chin implant's scar is inside the mouth, if not surely increase to 30 tubes.


2) Chanel foundation in "Shade No. 1 Whitest white - really... the whitest you can get"

As you know, Miss Yang slathers this on every other minute. Teehee, I tell you, Boto's friends who are Miss Yang's ex-boyfriends all said right, that Miss Yang every night before she sleeps, does not take off her make up!Instead, she slaps on more instead!

It is true! Boto heard this from about 3 different sources!

And then right, the ex-bfs tell Boto... Miss Yang, when she wakes up, immediately puts on even more of this powder!

Boto thinks this is extremely disgusting. This also explains why the white pillow got one face-print in beige. The bed also looks like it has a strange arm-shaped print.



3) Pregnancy test kits


Boto thinks this is sad.


4) Photo frame of Arissa

Boto also found a strange note behind it that reads: "Chant to self every night and it will come true. I look like her... I look like her... I look like her... I look like her..."

This goes on for 579 pages.

Boto finds this extremely creepy.


5) Sunblock in SPF 1000

Being fair is of utmost importance to Miss Yang... Even when sleeping can get UV rays, so must put!


6) Digicam

Boto had a peek into the content. It is all photos of Miss Yang wearing cheap bras and posing on the bed. A lot had the bra strap falling down.


7) Armpit whitening cream

For dirty armpits. This brand clearly does not work.


8) Private Diary

Boto did not feel it was right to read people's diaries (though it is ok to break and enter), so Boto only read a few entries. Most of them are like this:

"Dear Diary,

I feel that I have a double chin. Should I, or should I not do another surgery? Fiona sucks. I am more beautiful... so unfair she is more famous! Arissa sucks. Oh gosh I gtg diary, my pussy itches. Why is there a cauliflower-like growth there after I came back from my second Bali trip????"

Boto found no traces of the bible or the bread. Boto also saw a few clumps of hair extensions on the pillow. Can you say ew?!

Well, that's all from Boto today. Boto will try to update more here, ok!! Stay Plastic!


-your's plastically, Boto Xing


p/s: It is also said that poor Nathaniel Ho got gonorrhoea just by laying next to Miss Yang, but this piece of information is not verified.