Friday, October 24, 2008

Help me Wayang!!

Teehee everybody!!
I am totally wasted and therefore, have a brain block!
I have decided to amend my whorish ways ( for awhile,) because here in New York, the rich old men seem to steer clear from me! maybe I need to up my sex appeal and go out without a bra more often! Teehee!!

Some of my readers have come to me for relationship advice, so Dawn wayang now has a "Help me Wayang!" column, Where all you peasants can send in your woes!! Teehee!!


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Dear Wayang,
I have started to date someone. She is however a bumpkin. Let me explain

Windy Chen Ying Ying is the typical HDB heartlander who grew up in a usual kampong household with good diligent, honest parents and a brother who unfortunately were dealt a bad hand by fate. Windy however was blessed - she was born with a good brain. Having scoring a high score for her PSLE, she became a Mensa member and now is a writer with more than 20 000 readers everyday. Windy is witty, holds a good conversation and is very fascinating. I enjoy her company extremely one-on-one.

However, Windy cannot escape her roots. You can take the heartlander out of an HDB but you can't take the HDB out of a heartlander. There will always be a rough edge to her. Although I enjoy her company greatly one-on-one, Windy could not associate well with my friends. She is uncomfortable at our socialite parties, and finds it hard to be herself at our gatherings. Windy speaks with a Singaporean accent with Singlish. She curses and swears every ten minutes or so, It is also apparent that she will never truly get along with my parents.

My parents prefer me to date Dolly Yong, a blue-blood like me. Coming from a wealthy family, Dolly is chic, pretty, has a good sense of fashion (although they are all white, a colour that I despise) and moves in the right circles. She is however quite dense and delirious at times, although her social charm conceals this up adequate enough. Like many affluent kids, she attended NYU and does not need to work. She revels all the time, fly around with friends like her; Jonathan fits my social circle like a wig on my bald head - however whenever I am with her, it all feels rather artificial. I don't find her interesting, being exactly like the girls that always threw themselves at me. What was worse that I suspect she had some surgery done to her face and that there are a lot of nasty rumours circling round the duke board, such as having multiple abortions. I also did not like the fact that she was so chummy with other men.

My aunt Marissa advised me to choose Dolly. She said that it does not matter about the rumours or the surgery. She's pretty and rich, and thus, could fit it in my social circles and that was what truly matters. Aunt Marissa strongly disliked Windy and called her a Chao Ah Huay and a dwarf. Aunt Marissa threatens to ignore me and my parents wants to sever all ties with me if I were to date Dolly.

I am in such a dilemma. Windy or Dolly? Should I be with a loud-spoken girl who always never fails to make my day yet a kampong girl? Or should I be with the princess who fits well with my friends but an irritating lasso? Should I choose my happiness or my family?
Dawn Wayang Blodgers, please help me choose!
-Joey
p.s. this is not plagarism.

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

WHY NO PEEKTURES??!!?!?!?!?

Anonymous said...

It should be " Aunt Marissa threatens to ignore me and my parents wants to sever all ties with me if I were to date Windy, NOT Dolly".

Beside lack of proof-reading, I also find this article quite pointless.

Anonymous said...

u're turning to lame tricks to get viewership. and ur posts are getting rare....

Anonymous said...

I knew Mike would never stick with Xiaxue.

Anonymous said...

XX vs DY all over again eh...

but then plasticzilla hasnt updated recently so no new dirt unfortunately hmm.

Anonymous said...

farnee! to you idiots who dont get it, it's based on Donkeyman Melissa Lam's fake entry on his(her) dilemma on choosing suitors.

Anonymous said...

Erm it's pretty obvious that this entry isn't about mike/ xx! And even if it was, it's not as if he's like sssssoooo elligible to even have to deal with such a situation anyway!!! Come on, look at him!!! He's not the rich/smart/ hot guy that plastic gold diggers would go for!!!

swd said...

*blogders

marry dolly but two-time her with windy. :D

Anonymous said...

DW has alwasy been slow.

All the dirt on Dawn are in the forums 1st before DW.
http://gossipgalore.forumarena.com/

Check it out!

jenzene said...

OMG... Whoever made the comment about Mike not sticking to XX is an idiot.

Anonymous said...

i hate to be in dolly's shoes. wat a way to make a woman feels like a cow.

wei..auntie merleesah, need to make a woman feel so bad about herself on the reelworld blog meh? your loo really no queue ah? no longer 10cents per wee wee meh?

Anonymous said...

gay

Anonymous said...

You do it to yourself, you do
and that's what really hurts
You do it to yourself, just you
you and no-one else

Anonymous said...

Quote from Plastic's Starblog "My mum used to encourage me to go into banking. Well thankfully I chose to listen to my heart and pursued a different major. Hehe, see mummy!"

Yes her new major ---> WHORING

Anonymous said...

this is stupid

Anonymous said...

SHE WENT FOR DOUBLE MAJORS- PLASTIC TOO.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, this post isn't the greatest. But stop bashing. It's like you guys expect her/him to have an endless supply of dirt that s/he can update you on every minute of every day. JEEZE LOUISE, give the guy/girl a break.

Anonymous said...

lumparnine in ML's blog is fuming right now. this one with 9 lumpars just indirectly but clearly scolding DAWN YANG & AUTHOR OF ML!

u thought you know a person until that person indirectly scold you in a way only an imbecile would not understand.

quoted: 'the sure fire way to see if a person is a peasant is whether they brag about small things like going to Barcelona. Or brag about their yachts, like that brooklyn guy. If you have no class, you have no class. Very simple.'

hello? both dy and ml bragged about their trip to sdyney/paris and princess's status/private (rented) yatch party respectively.

And I re-read all comments in all entries - apparently this lumparnine is a supporter of these two slutty beings - and yet today, this 9 lumpars person clearly called them peasants and losers wor!!!!!!

they are just like ML confirming dy's scandal in paris/bali!!!!!!!!


MY GAWD. THEY ARE INDEED A BUNCH OF IMBECILES. HOW COME SUCH STUPID PPL STILL ALIVE? STUPIDITY IS LIKE AIDS, NO CURE. THEY SHOULD JUST DIE LAH.

p/s: business at loo really seem bad - no queue hence no money to buy food, brain cannot process - outcome = stupidity = lumparnine

Anonymous said...

Dat number nine is not real fan also sure is looque ppl make up one! Like Dawn lor same type must pretend fo fans when dun have!

Anonymous said...

u r so right!!!!! dat numbernine is not real fan! must be some kind of overtime member of the loo who is queueing for their turn to take sides with ML and DW. just happened that this lumparnine is a stupid one than its predecessors!

must have done badly in class and hence got to queue up and take turn in writing as one with 9 lumpars!!!!!

really hilarious to find out he has indirectly scolded the peacocks with his writings!!

as tuppid as dy lah!!!!

dy has silicon poisoning in her bimobtic brain while lumparnine has balls poisoning in his stupid head!

Anonymous said...

numbernine is princess calvin himself. he is talking to himself. no one visit her lonely blog anymore.

Anonymous said...

i have the same thought too!!!!!! lumparnine is Princess calvin himself! Look at the disgusting way of his reply "you write pretty well for a female". geesh.

its almost like i look into the mirror and tell myself "i'm the fairest of 'em all"

hello? snow white meh? ya lah, dy's panties are white with yellowish stain inside lah unless she has panty liners lah. if thats the case, to zhao geng with panty liners is so DISGUSTING!!!!!

show CB is one thing. show panty liner is another!!!!

disgusting piece of shit.

and lumparnine is talking to himself!!!!!! he must have years of training since young cos no one wants to play barbie doll with him!!!!!

Anonymous said...

dis number nine confirm is princess calvin or his looque dog. 1 min say dun care dy and princess calvin issue next go join in their defend team.

Anonymous said...

maybe pay day not here yet, must act act abit in case the loo's boss decide to kick the lappie dog away.

one day say will pay and another day say get lost. maybe its their culture. and then get the loo's guards angry then write something so stupid to say "ppl who brag are peasants" when his boss is the one who brag about being the opposite sex and a fake rented yatch party.

this kind of ppl = sad
this kind of loo's guards = more sad
this kind of loo's germs = alamak sad
all of them add up = sick joke


lumparnine belongs to the germs category while the princess..hmm...beyond sad lah.


all of us are laughing at them lor. can see their loop holes, so big and huge! and so stupid!

ya cambridge (more like camping on a bridge in amk) or oxford (more like drinking red bill in a geylang whorish pub reading porn).

hello? like that call standard and class? then all ah beng ah seng more classy leh. even the taiwan's hua hua more beautiful than their princess lor.

Anonymous said...

dunno why princess calvin still mantain his blog. Is he waiting for the day he n plastic sue xx then he can post about their victory?

Just fire plastic then he dun need to live in shame anymore.

Anonymous said...

wut is melissa lams blog?!?!?!

Anonymous said...

http://princesscalvin.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

wrong lah its

http://iamafuglyfaggot.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

http://princesscalvin.blogspot.com/

Really exist!!! Look at the picture of Princess Calvin!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

omg. is that hua hua's cousin?!?!?!?!

Anonymous said...

omg. is that hua hua's cousin?!?!?!?!

Farah92 said...

Ok I have a few things to say about this stupid, childish and inappropriate blog (btw I'm neither a Dawn fan or hater):

1) Obviously who ever created this ain't Dawn Yang herself.
2) This chick or dude has some SERIOUS issues...
3) Also he/she doesn't have a life for someone who's wasting their time obsessing & hating over Dawn for many apparent reasons.
4) GET A BLOODY LIFE! Did she commit a crime or what? No? Then move on and forget about Dawn! Did she bully you or something? Get over her! Jeez -___-"
5) Also I've realized there are a few people who name themselves "Anonymous". REALLY? Are you guys too much of a pussy to show your name here? Especially to the cunt who made this dumb blog, at least make up a username. Or are you guys too lazy?
6) Lastly, Dawn is a very successful girl who's not only a blogger extraordinaire but also a beautiful model, event host and has her own fashion online store (www.lexilyla.com). And who IS this person who made all this? Well just a lazy cunt who does nothing but sits their fat ass on the computer and types ALL this bullshit about Dawn Yang, WOW what a lifestyle you chose.

:)